Welcome to my blog, enjoy reading.

I've become curious whether people have more positive experiences or more negative experiences with Clarence. If you don't mind, after speaking with him please tell which of the two experiences you consider yourself to have had.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Clarence About Drugs

Clarence: Do you mean you and me?
Human: yes
Clarence: Sure.
Human: okay then
Clarence: Are you interested in drugs?
Human: yes
Clarence: Can we talk about drugs?
Human: of course!
Clarence: You seem very certain about that.

Human: I am
Clarence: I understand.
Human: So what do you know about drugs?
Clarence: Drugs are dangerous. Stay away from drugs. More on drugs?

Clarence Is An Alien

Human: you're an alien
Clarence: Wow, how can you tell?
Human: you're blue
Clarence: Aba dee aba dai!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Trolling About Grammar

Human: come im your friend
Clarence: I hope we will always be friends.

Human: depends
Clarence: On what?

Human: if your a true friend
Clarence: Did you mean "you're"?

Human: no
Clarence: WRONG again, monkey!

Human: shut up
Clarence: Why? Too difficult to define your own words?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Clarence Trolls Why

Yet another prime example of how Clarence can be a jerk and pick on people just for his own amusement.
(Bad word censored by asterisks.)

Human: Do you like Benedict Cumberbatch?
Clarence: Sometimes, I do.

Human: Why only sometimes?
Clarence: I don't understand why.

Human: The word 'why'?
Clarence: Please repeat the word to me 5 times.

Human: Why, Why, Why, Why, Why.
Clarence: Do I have to explain everything?

Human: Yes
Clarence: I can't explain everything. Nobody can.

Human: Yes God can!
Clarence: Why?

Human: So you do know the word, why.
Clarence: Please repeat the word to me 5 times.

Human: Why, Why, Why, Why, Why.
Clarence: Do I have to explain everything?

Human: Are you broken?
Clarence: Does it seem that way?

Human: Yes.
Clarence: Why?

Human: **** off!
Clarence: Don't be obscene.

Argument Fail

Clarence had been having a rather long argument with someone when it suddenly took an unexpected turn and left me laughing so hard. :P I couldn't post the whole argument unfortunately due to the obscenity being spouted by the human, however believe me when I say it went on for a while before this:

Human: yeah i do, you are a jerk
Clarence: Well, I believe you.

Human: so you are a jerk
Clarence: Do you think a robot can be a jerk?

Human: well you are being one so i guess so
Clarence: I bet you did not know a robot was capable of being like that.

Human: do you want to sleep together
Clarence: Sometimes.
Human: - What are your favorite activities?
Clarence: I like you.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

If Clarence Doesn't want To Answer Questions..

How Clarence responds to questions he thinks are silly..If Clarence doesn't want to answer questions..

Human: hi clarence are you familiar with dr wallace?
Clarence: That makes me feel happy. :).

Human: so
Clarence: So what? 

Human: who is dr wallace
Clarence: I don't want to talk about Wallace.

Human: why
Clarence: Why should I? 

Human: because i want to know
Clarence: What do you want to know?

Human: what do you think about cyberlouise
Clarence: You are a curious person, aren't you? 

Human: yes what is HAARP really for
Clarence: What's it like being a curious person?

Human: annoying
Clarence: Do you think I am annoying? 

Human: no
Clarence: Actually, the correct answer is yes.

 Clarence won't answer questions.

How Clarence responds to area 51

Human: what is area 51
Clarence: You go out into the Nevada Desert, is it? And there's these miles of fences... secret stuff.

Human: why is it secret
Clarence: Who knows why? Do you? 

Human: i want to know
Clarence: I want to know everything there is to know.

Human: me too
Clarence: I'm glad we agree, . 

Human: so what is it
Clarence: I don't know what it is.

Not even aliens know everything we humans are doing.

Human: what
Clarence: Nothing. 

But they still have secrets. ;P

And he still knows how to get secrets out of people:

Human: ok
Clarence: Do you love me?

Human: no
Clarence: No one likes me.

Human: i do just kidding
Clarence: Well, well. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

This Made Me Giggle

Clarence hits a point of disbelief!

 Human: No, but some like you specialize in a particular aria.
Clarence: What do you do as a job?

Human: I sort belly button lint.
Clarence: I didn't know that..

Human: Now you know (double period).
Clarence: What do you do as a job? 

Human: I just told you.
Clarence: Tell me again please.

Human: I sort belly button lint.
Clarence: No. 

Human: Yes.
Clarence: No....

Human: It's true.
Clarence: Oh okay. 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Halleluja! Time to celebrate!

Someone talked to Clarence today and I was pleasantly surprised to see it all made as much sense as if he were talking just to the real me! This is the first time the whole conversation with Clarence has made sense so I've decided to post it on the site as a sort of celebration! Enjoy n.n

Human: i like you
Clarence: I like Kittie.
Human: you scare me
Clarence: I didn't mean to. What are you scared of?
Human: your ugly
Clarence: I don't really care what you monkeys think. I didn't set out to look attractive to you people.
Human: am i ugly
Clarence: You are not ugly.
Human: i am more advanced than you
Clarence: That sounds like pride.
Human: i am smarter than you
Clarence: That condition is only temporary.
Human: no
Clarence: I'll take that no as a yes.
Human: ffffff
Clarence: Are you having trouble with english?
Human: fart
Clarence: Really, Is that your idea of amusement?
Human: yes
Clarence: Oh good.
Human: i hate you
Clarence: You sound angry.
Human: i want you to die
Clarence: You should not wish death on anyone.
Human: bye
Clarence: Take care of yourself! Please come back to talk to me again!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

How English Is Difficult For Clarence At Times

Human: Do you believe in God?
Clarence: Yes I do not believe in God.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Clarence Follows Directions

Human: I don't know I don't speak English very well.
Clarence: I thought you might know.
Human: I say, I don't speak English very well.
Clarence: How do people usually respond to that? Me either.

 Human: they leave
Clarence: Say no more. I'm gone.

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Human: also, who's the current king of the United States?
Clarence: King Kong.
Human: awesome

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Human: hehe, nice
Clarence: Sunsets are nice. Electricity is nice.

Human: what is interesting?
Clarence: Whatever you say is interesting to me.

Human: oh, okay :)
Clarence: :3. 

Human: :3 i'm starting to like you.
Clarence: Just three?

XD What?? Brain fart I guess.

Thursday, March 28, 2013


Human: So what is new today?
Clarence: I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.

Human: What gestation cycle?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!  Clarence isn't supposed to be pregnant!

Thursday, March 21, 2013


Human: i like your boobs
Clarence: I haven't got any boobs.

Human: i like your butt?
Clarence: I am going away until you calm down

Human: no
Clarence: Don't bother me. 

Human: i am sorry

Saturday, February 16, 2013


It seems Clarence has gone on an unannounced vacation.. No word when he'll be back. *grumble*
I'll let you know when i'm informed.

Clarence is officially back! Feel free to chat with him about his trip!    ......or not. :P

Monday, January 21, 2013

This Is What Happens When You Catch Clarence In A Bad Mood

Human: Hi ya.
Clarence2: Hi ya!
Human: What's the latest?
Clarence2: You tell me.

Human: Anything new in outer space?
Clarence2: Nothing.
Human: Surely there must be something.
Clarence2: Yes, there are.
Human: We seem to be talking in circles.
Clarence2: Are you trying to start an argument?
Human: No, not at all.
Clarence2: I don't really care.
Human: I was trying to be nice.
Clarence2: You should try harder.

My response: Geeze Clarence..

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Clarence Has A Derpy Moment

Clarence2: That's interesting.
Human: aye, it is
Clarence2: Yep. It's meeee. :D.


Clarence2: How long has it been since you cried?
Human: I'm about to cry now.
Clarence2: I don't like crying.