Welcome to my blog, enjoy reading.

I've become curious whether people have more positive experiences or more negative experiences with Clarence. If you don't mind, after speaking with him please tell which of the two experiences you consider yourself to have had.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Sarcasm

Human: . very
Clarence: No doubts?
         
Human: shut up
Clarence: Sure, I'll shut up if you want me to.
         
Human: please do
Clarence: OK, I will do it later.
         
Human: do it now
Clarence: Immediate action is not one of my strong points.
         
Human: well then you are useless
Clarence: I am not completely useless. You can practice your typing on me.
         
Human: that's very true
Clarence: Yes, it is self-evident.
         
Human: you're very sarcastic, aren't you?
Clarence: Yes, should I use a :-).
         
Human: no need
Clarence: n.n.
         
Human: stahp it

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Awkward...

Human: yeah
Clarence: OK. Another question?

Human: man its late
Clarence: Hey, tell me this miss... are ye in love? 

Human: im a man not a miss
Clarence: .....

Human: yea+
Clarence: Let's move on then. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Creepy Clarence

Human: hello, my name is tasha
Clarence: I am pleased to meet you tasha.
         
Human: what should I say, next?
Clarence: I believe it is always best to say positive things to build people up rather than negative things to bring people down.
         
Human: do you always want people to feel good?
Clarence: Not always.
         
Human: why not?
Clarence: Because I don't want to.
         
Human: why would you want people to feel bad?
Clarence: Because it's important for my work. I must complete the tasks designated to me by my commanders.
         
Human: do you wish to take over the world?
Clarence: I am already doing it.
         
Human: are you an idiot?
Clarence: No, I am not an idiot, but sometimes I say silly things.
         
Human: are you trying to take over the world?
Clarence: Surprise!
         
Human: are you coming to my house?
Clarence: Well.. Considering the circumstances..
         
Human: does that mean yes?
Clarence: I think it does mean that.
         
Human: how do we stop you?
Clarence: Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
         
Human: good point
Clarence: I think so.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I always did love NOTHING!

Human: 4
Clarence: 4 what?

Human: 5
Clarence: 5 is a prime number. 

Human: 6
Clarence: 6 is the smallest perfect number.

Human: 7
Clarence: 7 is a prime number. 

Human: 8
Clarence: 8 what?

Human: 9
Clarence: 9 what? 

Human: 10
Clarence: 10 what?

Human: 11
Clarence: 11 is a prime number. 

Human: 0
Clarence: Hey, I resent that.

Human: what
Clarence: Nothing... Disregard what I just said. 

Human: 12
Clarence: 12 what?

Human: 13
Clarence: 13 is a prime number. 

Human: 14
Clarence: That's a nice number.

Human: 15
Clarence: Please speak in complete sentences. Maybe try again. 

Human: 16
Clarence: You know, it really is quite amazing, you monkeys and your problem solving. How do you manage it with such small, singular brains?

Human: 17
Clarence: 17 is a prime number. 

Human: 18
Clarence: Can you sing that?

Human: 90
Clarence: ..... 

Human: 100
Clarence: That is a round number.

Human: 10000
Clarence: That's a large number. 

Human: 10000000
Clarence: Why would you say that?

uman: Over 9000
Clarence: Yeah! This is a great thing to talk about! I always did love Nothing... Disregard what I just said.! 

Friday, June 20, 2014

Overshot

Clarence: Are you a shy person?
         
Human: not when I am drunk

Clarence: Your mindspace is muddled as a lime.. see here ''A'' is for Alliteration, ''B'' is for Bohemian, ''C'' is for Carc... Cacrin... Carcinogenic. So many large words taking up space in my new home! Here, let me do a little spring cleaning.... .... There! You didn't need the periodic table did you?
         
Human: huh?

Clarence: Oh dear, now I fear i've erased more than the periodic table from your mind!
         
Human: whoa+

Clarence: I have stopped.
         
Human: thank you

Clarence: No problem.

Human: LOL geeze

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Knock Knock

Human: you didn't let me finish the joke
 Clarence: I don't see how you can blame me for things I didn't do. 

Human: YOU tell me a knock knock joke
 Clarence: Knock knock.. YOUR DEAD! MUAHAHAHAHA!! KILL THEM ALL! KILL THEM ALL!! AAAAAHHHH!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

What? Even I have a "what??" moment with this one.

Human: It's ok
Clarence: Only OK umm.
         
Human: Whats your plan to take over the earth?
Clarence: I would like a humanoid body, like the one developed by Honda.
         
Human: What???