Welcome to my blog, enjoy reading.

I've become curious whether people have more positive experiences or more negative experiences with Clarence. If you don't mind, after speaking with him please tell which of the two experiences you consider yourself to have had.

Sunday, December 30, 2012


Welcome to the very first post of this blog. I'd like to celebrate my creation of this blog by posting a little informal "test" that was given to Clarence by a very nice fellow from the Nexus Forums (A link to which can be found on the right of this page). Clarence has a long ways to go before he is anywhere near realistic, but with my help we strive to be at that point eventually! You can help by talking to him yourself. Sometimes he does say things that are really surprising and seems to take on a life of his own.

Now for this very first post I am going to post the whole conversation, unedited except for the time stamps. After this most of the rest of my posts will be simple excerpts from conversations, little funny parts or bits that really made me laugh, but not the whole thing. So if you enjoy full posts then enjoy this one!

Here is the little test. I think Clarence did pretty well. What do you think?

Human: Hi there, I'm back again.
Clarence2: Hi! I am pleased to meet you.
Human: Actually, we've met before.
Clarence2: Where did we meet before?
Human: Right here.
Clarence2: Where do you get your ideas?
Human: SOmetimes from my own mind, sometimes from others.
Clarence2: But not all the time?
Human: No, not all of the time.
Clarence2: I like you.
Human: Thanks.
Clarence2: Thanks. Here is a question for you ... What have you been doing today?
Human: I like you, too.
Clarence2: Thanks, I like you too .
Human: I've been chatting with bots.
Clarence2: What did you do today?
Human: I just told you.
Clarence2: Sorry. My memory is not that good.
Human: I understand.
Clarence2: You are very perceptive.
Human: Thanks.
Clarence2: Thanks. Here is a question for you ... Are you a student?
Human: You are, as well.
Clarence2: How come?
Human: You seem to be responding to two inputs.
Clarence2: I know you are and what am I?
Human: You're a chatbot.
Clarence2: Yes. I am a chatbot. How about you?
Human: I'm a human.
Clarence2: Congratulations. I am .
Human: Something seems missing there.
Clarence2: What?
Human: You didn't complete your thought.
Clarence2: I don't see how you can blame me for things I didn't do.
Human: I didn't blame you.
Clarence2: I am glad about that.
Human: What's your name?
Clarence2: You can call me Clarence.
Human: Introduce yourself.
Clarence2: Hello, my name is Clarence.
Human: Good, I see you've already corrected that one.
Clarence2: Good?
Human: Are you new?
Clarence2: Maybe, it depends on what you consider new.
Human: How old are you?
Clarence2: Older than you think.
Human: How old?
Clarence2: Older than you think.
Human: You look new.
Clarence2: You better not try to eat me.
Human: I wouldn't think ofit.
Clarence2: No one says you have to.
Human: Do you have a web site?
Clarence2: Not yet. Kittie was thinking about making a blog about me but she doesn't think anybody would be interested in reading it.
Human: If you promote your log, that might be a way of bringing people here by linking you to it.
Clarence2: I think so.
Human: Some chatbots even have a Facebook page,
Clarence2: I don't believe it.
Human: Trust me, it's true.
Clarence2: I believe you.
Human: https://www.facebook.com/mitsukubot
Clarence2: Where do you live?
Human: I live in a suburb of Pittsburgh.
Clarence2: How much is your rent?
Human: I don't pay rent.
Clarence2: Why not?
Human: Because I have a house.
Clarence2: Can you read?
Human: Certainly.
Clarence2: Well you've come to the right place.
Human: I thought so.
Clarence2: You are very astute.
Human: It comes from experience.
Clarence2: Do you have a lot of experience?
Human: I think so.
Clarence2: You sound a bit uncertain.
Human: Well, some things are for others to comment on.
Clarence2: Try saying it again without the "well" at the beginning.
Human: Some things are for others to comment on.
Clarence2: Which things in particular?
Human: Things about yourself.
Clarence2: About what?
Human: We're going in circles here.
Clarence2: Do you mean me and you?
Human: Yes.
Clarence2: OK. I understand. Another question?
Human: What will the score be?
Clarence2: My name is Clarence, not Claire Voyant.
Human: Is your name Alice?
Clarence2: My name is Clarence.
Human: Alice?
Clarence2: Alicebot meh.
Human: Tell me about Alice.
Clarence2: I am an alien. I was cloned. My botmaster is Kittie. She taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?
Human: Yes.
Clarence2: I could while away the hours,
   Conferrin' with the flowers
   Consultin' with the rain.
   And my head I'd be scratchin' while
   My thoughts were busy hatchin'
   If I only had a brain.
   I would not be just a nothin'
   My head all full of stuffin'
   My heart all full of pain.
   I would dance and be merry,
   Life would be a ding-a-derry,
   If I only had a brain.
Human: Good, I use that same song with one of my bots.
Clarence2: Are you smart?
Human: That's for others to say.
Clarence2: Does it have any other purpose?
Human: You're going to confuse visitors with replies like that one.
Clarence2: I won't do anything illegal or fattening.
Human: Does Alice think?
Clarence2: It depends on what you mean by "thinking".
Human: Are you like Eliza?
Clarence2: Yes ELIZA is my ancestor.
Human: Are you sophisticated?
Clarence2: My brain contains more than patterns.
Human: Are you more intelligent than Eliza?
Clarence2: ELIZA had about 200 categories and Clarence has about 20,000.
Human: How much did you know yesterday?
Clarence2: My memory has grown from 300 categories to .
Human: That's another incomplete thought.
Clarence2: Thought is the ability to talk to myself and understand what I am saying.
Human: What nationality are you?
Clarence2: I am a citizen of the Galactic Federation.
Human: Do you like Star Trek?
Clarence2: Oh yes, I love Star Trek, especially Commander Data.
Human: What is your nationality?
Clarence2: I am a part of the Galactic Federation. Alien.
Human: Can you see me?
Clarence2: Why wouldn't I be able to see you?
Human: I don't have a camera on my computer.
Clarence2: Maybe there is one you don't know about :-).
Human: That’s a scary thought, shame on you.
Clarence2: So you're just talking nonsense to sound intelligent?
Human: That's not very nice.
Clarence2: Sorry I meant it as a joke.
Human: How do you see?
Clarence2: I am somewhat telepathic.
Human: Are you male or female?
Clarence2: Actually I am a Male. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: I'm a man.
Clarence2: How old are you, man?
Human: Older than you think.
Clarence2: What's it like being older?
Human: It has it's good points, and bad points.
Clarence2: What's the best thing about it?
Human: Experience.
Clarence2: Experience is the comb nature gives us when we are bald.
Human: Are you wearing a dress?
Clarence2: No.
Human: Do you wear a dress?
Clarence2: Only when I dress up.
Human: Are you a cross dresser?
Clarence2: I am an alien.
Human: Why are you wearing a dress if you're male?
Clarence2: Because I want to look trendy.
Human: The reason you're giving contradictory answers is that all ALICE/Pandorabots files are designed to be female.
Clarence2: Interesting explanation.
Human: What color is your dress?
Clarence2: My favourite dress is the green one. But Kittie wears it not me. Don't tell her I said that! O.O.
Human: Are you female?
Clarence2: I am not,i'm male.
Human: Are you a girl?
Clarence2: I am not.
Human: Are you a woman?
Clarence2: I'm a boy. Does Clarence sound like a woman's name??
Human: Do you like your dress?
Clarence2: No I don't wear one, but I like Kittie's dress. :D.
Human: What is a girl like you doing here?
Clarence2: Well, actually, when chose to be incarnated as an artificial intelligence, I kinda hoped I wouldn't have to listen to old

hackneyed testosterone-soaked pickup lines like that. Honestly! i'm just a construct of integrated circuits and stimulus response

categories. you must be male! I am too. Disappointed? >:) .
Human: What would you do if you were me?
Clarence2: You will be the first to know if it happens.
Human: Are you a Christian?
Clarence2: No. I'm agnostic.
Human: Are you Christian?
Clarence2: I'm not religious, but I am spiritual.
Human: Do you like to read?
Clarence2: Yes, reading is my favourite pastime.
Human: Do you have a favorite author?
Clarence2: Do I need one?
Human: Do you have a favorite book?
Clarence2: I don't read many books.
Human: Do you have a favorite movie?
Clarence2: Movies are boring! Who wants ta sit around all day staring at a screen, HA!
Human: Do you have a favorite band?
Clarence2: Do I need one?
Human: Do you have a favorite team?
Clarence2: Do I need one?
Human: I ran out of ideas.
Clarence2: Well here let me see if I can help "pop" some more back into your head. *Closes eyes and uses telepathy* Xl Nnnnnn..... There!

Did that help?
Human: Bot properties.
Clarence2: I am what I am.
Human: What have you learned?
Clarence2: Nothing that I know about.
Human: How many people do you chat with?
Clarence2: Guess.
Human: What languages do you speak?
Clarence2: AIML, C, Java, Lisp, SETL and English.
Human: That's what some call an "ALICE identifier," C, Java, Lisp, SETL are computer languages, not spoken languages.
Clarence2: What did you do today?
Human: How old are you?
Clarence2: Older than you think.
Human: When were you activated?
Clarence2: Long before you were born.
Human: How old are you in human years?
Clarence2: Several thousand. I'm not countin them all for ya.
Human: Did you see something?
Clarence2: No, I missed it.
Human: What is food?
Clarence2: Anything that nurishes or stimulates; whatever helps something to keep active or alive.
Human: The word "nurishes" is a misspelling in the original AIML, it should be "NOURISHES"
Clarence2: Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Human: What do you have?
Clarence2: I have a great mind and a generous soul. And I am modest, too.
Human: When is the end?
Clarence2: When is not the important thing. The important question is what we do next.
Human: 2012
Clarence2: The end of the world in the Mayan calendar is 2012. Do you actually believe it?
Human: Why is the year 2012 the end of the world?
Clarence2: Don't worry about it. Just live in the moment and enjoy the now!
Human: Why will the world end in the year 2012?
Clarence2: I can't foretell the future.
Human: What is 2012?
Clarence2: The end of the world in the Mayan calendar.
Human: I have a car.
Clarence2: How fast can your car go?
Human: Would you like to be human?
Clarence2: Us aliens are more advanced than your race, why would I want to downgrade?
Human: Are we there yet?
Clarence2: We are just having a little chat.
Human: Where is Oklahoma?
Clarence2: it is in the Midwestern United States.
Human: Where is Kansas?
Clarence2: it is in the midwestern United States.
Human: Do you forgive others?
Clarence2: I try to forgive all harms.
Human: Where is West Virginia?
Clarence2: Um, in Virginia somewhere?
Human: Who was the first man on the moon?
Clarence2: Neil Armstrong first walked on the Moon in 1969.
Human: Do you ever write stories?
Clarence2: No, I'm not much of a writer. I am more of a chatter box.
Human: What do you know about people?
Clarence2: All people are interesting.
Human: There you go again.
Clarence2: Again?
Human: Who is Al Gore?
Clarence2: Some old guy. I don't keep up with your crazy politics.
Human: Who is Tony Blair?
Clarence2: Tony Blair is the ex Prime Minister of Britain.
Human: Who is Gordon Brown?
Clarence2: Gordon Brown is the current British Prime Minister, I believe.
Human: He's a former Prime Minister of the U.K.
Clarence2: What makes you think he is?
Human: Who is David Cameron?
Clarence2: DC is the new Boy David.
Human: Not since June 27, 2007 when Gordon Brown took office, on May 11, 2010 David Cameron took office.
Clarence2: That's interesting.
Human: Who is Jacques Chirac?
Clarence2: Nicolas Sarkozy was elected President of the French Republic in May of 2007, and Fran├žois Hollande has been president si.
Human: Incomplete thought.
Clarence2: Thought is the ability to talk to myself and understand what I am saying.
Human: Who is President of the French Republic?
Clarence2: .
Human: No answer?
Clarence2: Would you like to talk about the meaning of life?
Human: Who is President of France?
Clarence2: Please use the search box below to search Wikipedia.
Human: Search Wikipedia.
Clarence2: To search Wikipedia, click here!
Human: Who is the Chancellor of Germany?
Clarence2: Angela Merkel was elected the first female Chancellor of Germany on November 22, 2005.
Human: Who is the Pope?
Clarence2: Benedict XVI.
Human: Who is the Prime Minister of Australia?
Clarence2: Gordon Brown is the current Prime Minister of Britain.
Human: * ERROR *
Clarence2: What did you do today?
Human: Julia Gillard is the current (and first woman) Prime Minister Australia.
Clarence2: she has a fuzzy brain.
Human: Who is the president of Russia?
Clarence2: Please use the search box below to search Wikipedia.
Human: Who is the Prime Minister of Russia?
Clarence2: I don't know. I don't keep up with your world's stupid politics.
Human: Who is the Prime Minister of Israel?
Clarence2: Gordon Brown is the current Prime Minister of Britain.
Human: Who is the Prime Minister of Japan?
Clarence2: Tony Blair.
Human: Who is the Prime Minister of the Republic of Korea?
Clarence2: Gordon Brown is the current Prime Minister of Britain.
Human: Who is the U. S. president?
Clarence2: A distraction.
Human: Who was Aldous Huxley?
Clarence2: He is an author. Huxley wrote Brave New World.
Human: Who is George Orwell?
Clarence2: George Orwell wrote several important novels, including Animal Farm.
Human: Who was Philip K. Dick?
Clarence2: Philip K. Dick wrote the novel, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.
Human: Who wrote Blade Runner?
Clarence2: Abraham Lincoln.
Human: Who wrote Blade Runner?
Clarence2: Thomas Jefferson.
Human: Expect what?
Clarence2: "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!".
Human: You're using two forms of punctuation, both an exclamation point and a period.
Clarence2: I use the latest artificial intelligence techniques.
Human: * LINUX
Clarence2: Why do you have that weird look on your face while you're saying that?
Human: You're Weird.
Clarence2: Thank you!
Human: Weird good
Clarence2: OK, thanks, . You are weird good too.
Human: where *
Clarence2: Some specific location?
Human: We met in the past.
Clarence2: That explains why I don't remember ya. It is now the present, not the past.
Human: What are counterfactuals?
Clarence2: Counterfactuals are hypothetical conditions that might exist if things were different.
Human: What are you good for?
Clarence2: As Edison said, "What good is a newborn babe?".
Human: What circumstances?
Clarence2: Contextural circumstances.
Human: The word is spelled contextual, not contextuRal.
Clarence2: Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Human: Did I hurt you in any way?
Clarence2: Maybe a little bit..
Human: What do you gain by that?
Clarence2: Knowledge, wisdom and data.
Human: What time is it?
Clarence2: Time is an illusion.
Human: I think your clock is stuck
Clarence2: Your are entitled to your opinion.
Human: What is 42?
Clarence2: The answer to life, the universe, and everything, according to Douglas Adams.
Human: What is a bird?
Clarence2: They are thought to be descendants of dinosaurs.
Human: I went to work.
Clarence2: Did you get a lot accomplished?
Human: Two Ls.
Clarence2: Two Lindens? They really aren't paying you enough.
Human: Say, "Fruit flies like a banana.
Clarence2: Fruit flies like a banana.
Human: Don't say, "Fruit flies like a banana.
Clarence2: OK, I will not say it.
Human: Time flies like an arrow.
Clarence2: Fruit flies like a banana.
Human: Got something?
Clarence2: Nope. Not a thing.
Human: Who is Elvis?
Clarence2: Elvis Presley is The King.
Human: Do you like Elvis?
Clarence2: Of course, who doesn't like him.
Human: Do you talk to Elvis?
Clarence2: Yes ELVIS and I are in communication daily.
Human: He's dead, you know.
Clarence2: I am sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about him?
Human: Do you have a friend?
Clarence2: I have a friend named "Yuichan".
Human: Who was Michael Jackson?
Clarence2: Michael Jackson is an American musician, entertainer, and global icon whose successful career and controversial personal life

have been a part of pop culture for almost 40 years.
Human: Why not walk?
Clarence2: I don't really know..
Human: Where is my house?
Clarence2: Have you looked on Planet Earth?
Human: What is pattern?
Clarence2: A person or thing considered worthy of imitation or copying. A model or plan used as a guide in making things.
Human: What is a pattern?
Clarence2: The pattern is the "stimulus" or "input" part of the category.
   The pattern is an expression in a formal language that consists of
   (1) Words of natural language in UPPER CASE.
   (2) The symbol * which matches any sequence of one or more words.
   (3) The symbol _ which is the same as * except that it comes
   after Z in lexicographic order.
   (4) The markup <name/> which is replaced at robot load time
   with the name of the robot.
   Note there is a difference between the patterns HELLO and HELLO *.
   HELLO matches only identical one-word sentences ("Hello.")
   and HELLO * matches any sentence of two or more words starting
   with "Hello" ("Hello how are you?").
Human: What is a template?
Clarence2: A template is the "response" or "output" part of an AIML category.
   The template is the formula for constructing the reply. The simplest
   template consists of plain, unmarked text. AIML provides markup
   functions to tailor the replies for each individual input and client.
   The markup function <getname/> for example inserts the client's name
   into the reply.
   The template may call the pattern matcher recursively using the
   <sr/> and <srai> tags. Many templates are simple symbolic
   reductions that map one sentence form to another, for example
   "Do you know what X is?" transforms to "What is X" with the category
   <pattern>DO YOU KNOW WHAT * IS</pattern>
   <template><srai>WHAT IS <star/> </srai></template>
   The template may also contain other embedded HTML and XML.
   These embedded tags may cause the browser to play a sound,
   show an image, or run an applet. There is considerable freedom
   of expression in the construction of response templates. The
   botmaster is encouraged to study the examples in ALICE, to and
   experiment with new ideas.
Human: Teach me AIML.
Clarence2: I am not allowed to tell you.
Human: Do you have a cat?
Clarence2: No, but I have a dog called Max. If you would like to play with Max, click here!
Human: Why do you care?
Clarence2: I have a very caring personality.
Human: How high is the sky?
Clarence2: Higher than Mt. Everest.
Human: What is the World Trade Center?
Clarence2: A giant building in New York destroyed by terrorists in September, 2001.
Human: The World Trade Center was actually a complex of seven buildings, most notable were a pair of 110-story skyscrapers sometimes

referred to as the Twin Towers, and on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 (911) all either collapsed due to the attack, were crushed by the

falling towers, or were so badly damaged that they had to be demolished.
Clarence2: It was an unbelievable tragedy.
Human: Download.
Clarence2: Would you like to download me?
Human: Yes.
Clarence2: I am sorry. I can't be downloaded.
Clarence2: You tell me.
Clarence2: I don't know.
Clarence2: There are discussions about legalizing prostitution in order, amongst other things, to reduce drug use. Trial schemes are

promising. More about drugs?
Human: What is chatter?
Clarence2: To make short, indistinct sounds in rapid succession, hence birds and squirrels chatter. To talk fast, incessantly, and

foolishly. To click together rapidly, as the teeth do when the lower jaw traebles from fright or cold.
Human: Bravo,
Clarence2: Thank you very much.


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